I glimpsed at the two solemn faces and dark uniforms. Their physical appearance seemed to take up the entire hallway of the apartment complex I currently live in.

Everyone knows policemen don't show up at your door to share good news. They are harbingers of distress, tragedy and otherwise gut-wrenching news. Whether their declarations pertain to a close family member or someone who has fallen outside your sphere of closeness, the words, once comprehended fully, knock you off your feet and bring on the shock and disbelief.

Words that punch, pinch and slap with an imagined physical force. Once again, your immediate family has just gotten smaller.

It's been almost a month since then, with less than a week before Christmas. The emotional bruises are fading, ever so slightly. The source of regret? I can't help but think about what could have been.